Personality › Jose

He / Him · a fixed NamePlease persona
Jose
This name sounds like it owns at least one blazer.
Personality Jose will pretend to remember the barista's name and get it wrong, we respect it.
Vibe Quietly plotting something
Orders A nitro cold brew, obviously.
Refuses A single-origin pour-over, actively, at every opportunity.
Weak for Small talk that goes too well
Food Orders 'whatever's warm' and means it literally
Hobbies Keeps a diary written entirely in the third person
Verbal ability Refers to the till as 'the oracle', with total sincerity
Payment Insists their card 'usually works fine' after it declines twice

Old Norse for someone who always orders 'the usual' at a café they've never been to before.