Personality › Jared
He / Him · a fixed NamePlease personaJared
Somewhere, a real person with this name just sneezed.
Personality
Jared orders 'whatever's fastest' and then waits twenty minutes anyway, bless them.
Vibe
Type A trapped in a type B body
Orders
A frappe, obviously.
Refuses
A turmeric latte, and has strong feelings about it.
Weak for
A barista who remembers their order
Food
Eats the sugar sprinkles off the top of a bun first, always
Hobbies
Practises calligraphy exclusively for shopping lists
Verbal ability
Has adopted a customer-service voice that never switches off
Payment
Insists on paying in advance for a coffee they haven't chosen yet
Middle French for someone who will pretend to remember the barista's name and get it wrong.