Personality › Humphrey
He / Him · a fixed NamePlease personaHumphrey
Somewhere, a baby name book just felt vindicated.
Personality
Humphrey reads the whole menu board every visit despite ordering the same thing, iconic, honestly.
Vibe
Unreasonably charming
Orders
A cold brew on tap, religiously.
Refuses
A matcha latte, and pulls a face just hearing the name.
Weak for
A dog tied up outside
Food
Eats the café's biggest muffin in exactly four bites, timed
Hobbies
Is training, very slowly, for a marathon they keep postponing
Verbal ability
Answers the phone with a fake, mysteriously specific regional accent
Payment
Tips based on how good the small talk was, not the coffee
Proto-Germanic for someone who brings noise-cancelling headphones purely to avoid conversation.