Personality › Jasper

He / Him · a fixed NamePlease persona
Jasper
This is the name you give when your ex is two people behind you in the queue.
Personality Jasper is suspiciously calm for someone who's had four coffees today, and isn't sorry about it.
Vibe Group chat lurker
Orders A cold brew on tap, and they will explain why, at length.
Refuses A matcha latte, actively, at every opportunity.
Weak for A barista's genuine laugh
Food Eats a croissant like it personally wronged them
Hobbies Is trying to befriend every dog on their street, methodically
Verbal ability Says 'I'm not gonna lie' before statements that are clearly true
Payment Tips based on how good the small talk was, not the coffee

Gaelic for someone who claims to be 'just popping in' and stays for two hours.